Lean with Green?

*I apologize in advance if this post is all over the place. It's kind of how my mind works sometimes.

The Husband and I have always been spenders. When we were single, we didn't have to worry about someone else or a family and now that we are married, we have a big enough income to do the fun things we enjoy doing as well as pay the bills every month. However, that was when our mortgage was low and our bills weren't too bad. Now that we are looking to purchase a home in the next few months, things need to change, but I'm afraid we won't be able to make the changes. We are so used to spending our money instead of saving.

The Husband and I don't go on extravegant trips, we don't eat at expensive restaurants, we don't go to a lot of concerts (maybe 2-3 each year), we rarely go to the theater, I don't get my nails done every week, we don't drink overpriced coffee from Starbucks, I try to go to the library for books instead of buying, I rarely buy cds and we don't go to a ton of movies. What we spend money on is shopping (clothes, bags, home decor and groceries) and going out to eat. Those are the things we enjoy spending our money on. Obviously we are enjoying it a little too much :)

Along with the cost of moving and paying to get out of condo when it sold back in June, we also had quite a few unexpected expenses over the past four or five months that ate away at the small amount of savings we'd accumulated. Now we are back to where we were four months ago, with a small savings, but I don't feel it's enough. We need to put more away each time a paycheck comes in. We are trying our best to cut back and decided to cancel our vacation to Sunset Beach, North Carolina in 2 weeks. We hate to do it, but my husband is in a line of work where he's not lucky enough to get paid vacation like me. If he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid. And when you're trying to save up money, that doesn't help. At least when I take vacation and spending money, I'm making it at the same time.

Every few weeks, I get super stressed out about money. I get an anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach and I feel my heart start to beat harder and faster. It's not that we don't have enough money to pay the bills and also enjoy doing fun things. It's that we don't have a big enough savings. I mean, you never know when something's going to come up - like a car repair, a house repair or a sick dog (one of those unexpected expenses over the last four months). Plus, when we finally do get into a house, we're going to need things, like a lawn mower, yard supplies, and whatever else. I know we'll be able to afford a nice house in a comfortable (for us) price range. We are both very adament that we don't spend past our means and get some ridiculously huge house that we can't afford. However, affording it means cutting way back on all the fun things we enjoy doing now, such as going out to eat, movies, shopping, concerts, trips, etc.

We've definitely improved over the last few months, spending half as much and putting the other half away. I am looking into getting a second job to help as well, but I still feel like there is more we can do. I don't feel that we are giving it our best shot at putting money away. I can't help it, I still enjoy shopping and going on trips.

I am going to NYC with my mother at the beginning of November. I am lucky in that she is paying for most of the trip and we have free airline tickets to use to get there and back. All I really pay for is the extras - shopping mainly. I also have an opportunity to go to Disney World in October for a few days for a reunion with some of my sorority sisters. Again, airfare would be free (we have extra tickets to use) and since two of my sisters work at Disney, hotel rooms will be pretty inexpensive and tickets will be either free or very cheap. They've asked me to go every year, and every year I've said no. Now I have these free airline tickets and really want to go. What do I do?!?! The husband has said I can go, but I feel so guilty! He stays at home and works and I go and play?

How do we find a balance? Not just a balance, but a good balance? A balance between saving and spending, but still doing these fun things that come around? What do you do to save money? Where/how do you cut back?